By being here you agree that this is a personal website from the early 2000s that has been dragged, kicking and screaming, into a decade it did not ask to join. There is carbon fibre in the background. There will continue to be carbon fibre in the background. Complaints about the carbon fibre will be printed out, folded into a paper aeroplane, and thrown in the general direction of 2004.

Anything you read here might be true, might be a joke, or might have been true in 2010 and is now only true in spirit. Photos are of real people in real rooms, except when they are of a blue Corsa that I am still emotionally attached to. If you copy a snippet of CSS I will assume you have taste. If you copy the whole site I will assume you also have a guestbook to fill.

I am not your lawyer, your host, or your IT department. If something breaks, refresh it. If it still breaks, it is probably my fault and I will fix it after tea. If you send me a message, I will try to reply, unless the message is about NFTs, in which case the terms clearly state that I have gone outside.

That is the contract. There is no fine print, because the print is already quite small and I could not be bothered to make it finer. Now go and look at a photo album from 2006 like a reasonable person.